Blog Post, Motivational

Are you looking to become an inspiring leader or to manipulate others?

 May 7, 2019

By  Lorhainne Eckhart

Are you looking to become an inspiring leader or to manipulate others?
Now, some of you may be saying that of course you would never want to manipulate others, but unfortunately, a lot of people out there end up doing exactly that, most without even being aware of it. I see it every day in my community. Let’s just say for argument’s sake that everyone wants to make an impact on the world for the better, and in chasing your goals, you want to improve your life, your community, the world. What you do not need to do is go out and manipulate people while chasing your goals. Instead, by inspiring them, you can make a huge impact and actually move mountains.
Does that make sense, or are you still confused by the fine line between being an inspiring leader and manipulating others? Some of you may still be saying you would never intentionally manipulate others, so let me deep dive into this a little further. An inspiring leader is a role everyone can play—you know, as a boss, as a parent, in your career, and in your quest for financial security and wealth. Unfortunately, certain actions are deeply ingrained in us to the extent that when leaders find themselves overwhelmed by all their responsibilities, they take the wrong steps, the wrong actions. They believe and may even say directly to those around them that they have to be able to get others to do what the leader wants them to do. That alone is very ego driven, and this is in fact manipulation. You’ve likely known a few people like this, and maybe you even work for one and see the power trip they are on daily. You may have also done this yourself without realizing, all because you were taught this is how you have to do things. However, trying to figure out how to manipulate people is not being an inspiring leader.
Becoming an inspiring leader is in fact not a goal anyone should aspire to. If you want to become an inspiring leader, then give up all hopes, dreams, thoughts of becoming an inspiring leader and instead be inspired by a vision, your vision, your goal, which brings a greater good to your family, to you, to your workplace, to your employees, to your community. Whatever it is you want to achieve, remember you will always have incredible flexibility in defining your vision. Not everyone is going to become an inspiring leader, but if you achieve your goal, your vision, and you learn how to communicate it, then you become that inspiring leader by default, because the people in your life, whom you work with, your friends, family, neighbors, and customers, will be inspired by what you’re doing.
So how do you live in your inspiration and also benefit from it? First, be inspired by your goal or your vision for your future, and come up with that idea. Then learn to communicate that idea, and it starts from that moment. Every single day, when you first get up in the morning, when your feet first hit the floor, you can recognize that no one wants to live a mediocre life of just getting by, living paycheck to paycheck. Then take another step back and ask yourself, have you been chasing an outcome without thinking about the process? Can you still reach high positions by manipulation? Of course, it happens all the time with many people who are driven by pure ambition or greed in business, in governments, in communities, and yes, in families too. These people are so focused on just reaching the top that they don’t care what it takes or who they step on, or crush, or take advantage of, or destroy. But that doesn’t make you a true leader, and it doesn’t make you a good person, either. The moment you lose your position as an inspiring leader and become yet another scumbag, no one wants to spend any time with you, and you drop off the radar, because what has happened is a huge disconnect.
A lot of people come up with this idea that they need to be able to manipulate the people around them, the people who work for them, getting them to do things they might not necessarily want to do, because manipulation is their responsibility as the boss. Some even believe that if they become inspiring enough, it will be easier to get everyone around them to think the way they think and do what they want them to do—and that is a majorly bullshit, crappy way to lead. If you want to be inspiring, don’t set this as your objective.
When you let go of this idea, you’ll notice you suddenly have a different energy in any action you take in your work, in your life, in your family, in your community. You will naturally draw the right opportunities. If you’re chasing the wrong things, in the end, those things probably will not give you the kind of answers you’re looking for. Remember that most people don’t even realize they’re manipulating people; they just think this is what they have to do to be a leader. If there’s something you’re trying to achieve, if there’s something you’re trying to do, if there’s a wrong you’re trying to fix or a change you’re advocating for, then take action yourself. It isn’t about manipulating others to think the way you do. It’s about taking action yourself, not getting others to take action for you.


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Lorhainne Eckhart

With flawed strong characters, characters you can relate to, New York Times & USA Today Bestselling Author Lorhainne Eckhart writes the kind of books she wants to read. She is frequently a Top 100 bestselling author in multiple genres, and her second book ever published, The Forgotten Child, is no exception. With close to 900 reviews on Amazon, translated into German and French, this book was such a hit that the long-running Friessen Family series was born. Now with over ninety titles and multiple series under her belt her big family romance series are loved by fans worldwide. A recipient of the 2013, 2015 and 2016 Readers’ Favorite Award for Suspense and Romance, Lorhainne lives on the sunny west-coast Gulf Island of Salt Spring Island, is the mother of three, her oldest has autism and she is an advocate for never giving up on your dreams.

Lorhainne Eckhart

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