A reality for the lowest paid members of society.

“It’s going to cost $700 a month to rent a room in someone’s house, or over $2,000 for a small house, and that doesn’t include water or electricity.”

This was what my son told me as he stepped into adulthood after finishing high school. He works full time at a grocery store, which means he’s a front-line worker, one of the few who kept his job during this shut-down. At the same time, he’s also one of the lowest-paid members of society, because grocery clerks and other staff have always been minimum-wage workers.

While some countries paid workers who were forced to stay home and lost their jobs back in March when this pandemic hit, sending checks of $2,000 a month, my son, who works full time and takes the ferry to work up to six days a week, barely makes that same $2,000. He’s trying to find his own place to rent and start his own life, and he’s just one of many out there in the same boat. The sky-high housing market has actually taken homes away from essential front-line workers who are not making the big money that other members of society make.

Of course, I’ve wondered how things got so out of control. Shouldn’t access to safe, clean housing be a basic right in all communities? But it isn’t. Then there’s the fact that, as I pointed out to my son, renting a room in someone else’s house brings a whole host of problems.

You have arguments on both sides. Speculators both local and foreign have played the housing market, driving prices up for various reasons. Not to get too technical, but basically, when demand increases and supply decreases, prices go up. At the same time, many have jumped into this way of parking their cash in a property, meaning others may never be able to break into something as basic as owning their own place.

Despite high demand and low housing stock, it may surprise you to discover the number of empty homes in many of these areas. The issue continues to spiral, as these homeowners have their permanent residences someplace else. When did having a home become a privilege for only the wealthy, leaving those on the low end forever and completely frozen out of the market?

The underpaid, overworked minimum-wage earners, those living in poverty from paycheck to paycheck who struggle every month to balance what little they make to pay rent, buy food, pay insurance, and cover all those other necessities, are the kinds of workers that all these high-demand areas need. But at the same time, it seems they’re expected not to have homes. Skyrocketing rent prices mean that those who do find a place to live pay so much for rent that they can’t put away any savings. They can barely buy food. Remember, wages for these workers never increased with the housing market.

So how is this going to help? There was a lot of anger in the housing market even before the pandemic hit, with many saying things like “If you can’t find a home, move someplace else, to another part of the country.” But a reminder to everyone: Those underpaid front-line workers are essential, so if they move and leave the community, who’s going to take their place?

As far as my son, well, I told him that until housing and rent costs come down drastically to something that resembles sanity, he’s unfortunately going to have to live at home. But, unlike my son, many out there do not have that safety net of a roof over their head from mom or dad.

Did you miss my latest release?

As a female firefighter in a small town, Suzanne O’Connell knows that every day will go one of two ways: Either nothing happens, or she suddenly finds herself in over her head. Firefighters never, ever say the words “It’s a quiet day!”—because that’s when all hell breaks loose, and their peaceful, easy day suddenly turns into their worst nightmare. This is exactly what happens to Suzanne when she finds herself trapped with Harold Waters, local law enforcement officer and her old flame, and fellow fireman Toby Chandler, who, according to everyone, is the kind of guy you want watching your back.

In an unusual turn of events, the stakes turn deadly, and Suzanne discovers that trusting the wrong man could leave her life hanging in the balance.

"This engaging and insightful book highlights the difficulties some women are faced with in the workplace (sexism, or the good ol’boy network) and their fight to be heard and vindicated. It also highlights the bonds and connections of a strong, loving family. I have grown to love all the O’Connells and can’t wait to read the next book!" ★★★★★ Rebmay, Amazon Canada Reviewer

Another New Release!

Are you still in your pajamas?

While I thought of what to blog about this week, aside from staying focused so I can meet a looming deadline, keep the lights on, and put food on the table, I realized that as dire as circumstances have become around the world, some things are very much the same for everyone. Being stuck under one roof, you likely have noticed that everything you know has changed, either a lot or a little. As an author, I’ve found that when you take away the same stresses millions are now facing, meaning the worry about keeping a roof over my head and the fear that something worse is around the corner, many aspects of living through a pandemic are the same as my normal life.
 
While the rest of you feel stuck at home, as an author, I can tell you this is very much my norm. Writing is a solo occupation, and some people label it a lonely and isolating occupation. But in order to be an author, you have to love your own company, be an introvert, and be happy with weeks of alone time. For me, this is how I am happiest. I don’t need to have human social connections every day to thrive. In fact, in order to write and meet my deadlines, having human social connections, be they from people phoning, coming to the door, or making endless appointments, very much equals me not working.
 
At the same time, this kind of pandemic, which has shut down the world, can work against us authors, too, if we let it. The good old news station that keeps us connected can add to the anxiety of the unknown and shut down any productivity. It’s easy to get caught up in the dynamics of sensationalism or the freak-outs of others when you have to go out. When you add in the fact that your family once had school or a job to go to but are now cooped up with you under the same roof, for me, that has cut my writing time in half. Luckily, my daughter has taken over working with my special needs autistic son, since his job has ended and any support workers he had are considered nonessential. This has absolutely been a huge help, considering our new normal might mean him starting over at square one while we figure out how to support him until his job and ongoing therapy can continue.
 
For my daughter, who was finishing high school and who participated in every club, sports team, and program she could be involved in, this isolation could have caused the same anxiety and stress that has undoubtedly happened to many—but she’s been a trooper. She’s roped me into her volleyball programming, putting me up on the trampoline every day to fire balls at me and vice versa, as well as setting up an obstacle course and badminton net. This is good for me, considering it does get my butt out of the chair, and I’m sure my waistline will thank me down the road. But the main thing, being home, is that I realized there were many days when I simply lived in my pajamas while writing. With my kids now all home, I’ve had to remind them that there’s a point during the day where we really do need to get dressed!
 
However things unfold for everyone, as always, I hope you all have a wonderful week, have some fun, and, most importantly, laugh.

Did you miss my latest release?

As a female firefighter in a small town, Suzanne O’Connell knows that every day will go one of two ways: Either nothing happens, or she suddenly finds herself in over her head. Firefighters never, ever say the words “It’s a quiet day!”—because that’s when all hell breaks loose, and their peaceful, easy day suddenly turns into their worst nightmare. This is exactly what happens to Suzanne when she finds herself trapped with Harold Waters, local law enforcement officer and her old flame, and fellow fireman Toby Chandler, who, according to everyone, is the kind of guy you want watching your back.

In an unusual turn of events, the stakes turn deadly, and Suzanne discovers that trusting the wrong man could leave her life hanging in the balance.

"This engaging and insightful book highlights the difficulties some women are faced with in the workplace (sexism, or the good ol’boy network) and their fight to be heard and vindicated. It also highlights the bonds and connections of a strong, loving family. I have grown to love all the O’Connells and can’t wait to read the next book!" ★★★★★ Rebmay, Amazon Canada Reviewer

Another New Release!

Don’t let your fears override your common sense

Most of us have faced challenges and uncertainty every day of our lives. Under the current circumstances, things are no different, except we have to do things in a different way now. For many, this has created an incredible amount of uncertainty, which provokes fear and every other negative emotion. We’re hearing about it on the news, which everyone is tuning in to. The biggest challenge is the uncertainty about paying rent or a mortgage and putting food on the table. When you add in that families are cooped up together, emotions are spiking. You hear that abuse is on the rise, as before, spouses and kids weren’t spending 24/7 under the same roof.

When you have to go out for groceries, you find that civility has been replaced by fear, short tempers, and directions to stand on the X, not look at anyone, and, for God’s sake, not laugh or try to make someone feel better. On my last trip out to the store to buy what I needed, I noticed that more and more as of late, with this social distancing, no one wants to look anyone in the eye. Instead, you can feel the fear. It comes from the employees, as well. At the cash register, everyone is protected, and you feel the fear in their eyes as they stare at you. Gone is “Did you find everything you need?” What you hear now might as well be Keep the hell back and away from me.

Fear multiplies and has a ripple effect, which you take back home and pass on. All this does is create anxiety and angst in everyone else. Social distancing doesn’t mean you can’t offer a smile, a hello, a kind word, or maybe a joke and some laughter. We need to discipline ourselves and not let ourselves overreact to our fears or think of the worst-case scenario, because in doing that, all you are doing is bringing yourself and others down. If you think about it, the worst-case scenario almost never happens. All that uncertainty comes through in your voice, your thoughts, and spreads from one person to the next. Human beings have a herd mentality, and our survival instinct can and does rear its ugly head in times like these. But instead, think about your power, which has nothing to do with keeping your distance.

(And if you are watching the news 24/7, remember the media has always thrived on sensationalism and getting a rise out of you.)

You can solve any problem you face. Look at the chaos, but look also at people uniting and coming together and supporting each other. If you fear the worst, you are allowing those fears to overtake you and your family. For my family, yeah, we’ve encountered challenges, but we’ve just flipped them into a different way of doing things. School has ended for my daughter, who thrives on social contact and is an athlete, part of the rangers, and a member of after-school leadership groups. Everything has also ended for my autistic son, including his social skills therapy and his only job. My other son still has a job at the grocery store, but he hasn’t let fear overtake him. “Just use some common sense,” he says. So my daughter now does her schoolwork online, and she’s created a mini Special Olympics fitness program for my autistic son, which they do every day. Yes, I’ve been dragged into it, and for me, the only downside is that I’ll be in the best shape of my life. She has a badminton net set up, and we do volleyball too. My other son has dug a garden for me out back and built a greenhouse, and I’ve started seeds there. We play games, do puzzles, and laugh. All we did was change how we do things.

Adapt. Don’t get stuck living in your mind and in fear. We’re all in this together. You can still say hi, you can offer a smile, you can still laugh, and you can still have a conversation. More importantly, when at home with your family, structure your day, and most of all, make sure you have some fun

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REDUCED-RATE READ

Here's your final peek at my upcoming release!  THE QUIET DAY will be released tomorrow, but here's an exclusive look at Chapter 3!

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Chapter 3

She ran water in the sink, taking in her image in the mirror. The double sinks, walk-in shower and separate soaker bathtub, and even the matching towels were something she wouldn’t have expected from a guy. Toby really had a nice place, with three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and an open layout, with light and windows.

Where was he now but in his kitchen, cooking pasta on the gas stove? Yet another feature she was trying to wrap her head around, considering all she’d done was hand him the groceries after he answered the front door of his spacious house at the edge of town.

She was still trying to settle her thoughts after running into a man she hadn’t seen in years.

“Suzanne, dinner’s up!” Toby shouted from across the house.

She turned off the water, dried her hands, and took in her image as she pulled the hair tie from her long dark hair, which she usually kept pulled back in a ponytail, and let it fall past her shoulders. She rang her fingers through it. She hadn’t changed out of her dark uniform shirt, and she flicked the buttons one by one, seeing her practical sports bra underneath.

She stepped out into Toby’s extremely neat and tidy master bedroom, with its queen-size light wood bed and furniture set, and tossed her shirt on his fashionable beige comforter, which matched everything else. If she didn’t know better, she would’ve thought a woman had designed every part of this place.

She pulled open his chest of drawers, where she knew he kept his T-shirts, and lifted out a faded extra-large brown one to pull over her head before lifting her hair and striding out of the bedroom, down the hall to the kitchen, where Toby, who was dressed casually in blue jeans and a navy T-shirt, was draining the pasta into a large steel farmhouse sink.

He glanced over his shoulder as she stepped into his line of sight, and she wasn’t sure what expression was on his face as his gaze lingered on her average-size breasts. “You helped yourself to my shirt?” he said.

For a second, she wondered if he had a problem with it. “I didn’t change after my shift. Didn’t think you would mind, or is it an issue?”

He pulled back and made a face. What that meant, she didn’t know. “It’s fine,” he said, but she could hear the hesitation in his voice.

“Really? Because I’m getting the sense that maybe it isn’t. I have to wonder what’s going on with you, Toby.”

He set the pot back on the stove, lifted the strainer from the sink, and dumped all the pasta into a big skillet of simmering sauce. He turned off the burner before resting both his hands on the counter and giving her everything in that one look, unamused. There was something about dancing around whatever this was. She didn’t want to do it anymore.

“What is this, Suzanne? You’ve been off since you got here. I’m just making dinner for us, and then I want to chill after today. I have a lot on my mind and a lot of responsibility, too.”

She couldn’t shake the sense that he was keeping her at arm’s length, and that was where he needed her to stay. She wasn’t pushy, but she knew what she wanted.

“You know what, Toby? I’m not off, but I am wondering what this is. Can’t remember ever feeling as I did tonight with my family. I was at my brother’s place, texting you because I was expecting you to say where we should meet, and then I didn’t hear from you for a few hours, so I was thinking, okay, maybe you were blowing me off. We had plans, I thought. So where were you?”

Had she always been this forward? Yes, when she needed to be.

She didn’t pull her gaze from him as he stood there. It wasn’t anything he said, but something about the way he was staring back at her gave her the feeling that maybe she shouldn’t have asked.

He glanced away, and there it was, the difference between him and Harold. Maybe that was why she was so unsettled. Toby looked away far too often, she thought, when he should’ve been giving her everything.

“I have responsibilities, Suzanne. What is this?” Now he sounded defensive.

“So you were at the station? I left after you.” She was sitting on one of the stools at the island, not pulling her gaze from him.

“I had a meeting with the chief.”

She nodded. “So you were with the chief, then? Okay. The entire time?”

“Suzanne, why are you questioning me like this? I’m single, you’re single. I don’t answer to you, you don’t answer to me.” He gestured between them, and something about the energy left her feeling as if she had put her foot in her mouth. “I sense that you’re upset about something. You had a bad day? It was a quiet day, though, so don’t…”

Had he seriously just said that, a quiet day? She gave him a look, wondering what he was thinking, but he didn’t seem to notice what he’d said. “Whoa, you know better than to say that,” she snapped. “A quiet day…seriously, Toby?”

He seemed to shake her off. “A slip of the tongue is all, Suzanne. What I’m saying is you seem unsettled.”

She hadn’t expected this. “You know what, Toby? I guess I never really noticed it before, your unwillingness to answer me, how you so easily twist things, shining the situation back on me as if I’m the one with the issue. It’s something politicians master, but then, maybe that’s where you’re heading.”

Apparently, he got the zinger, as the laugh he let out was rough, jagged. “Wow, you really can be a piece of work sometimes.”

She shrugged. “No, it’s just that I asked you a question, and you deflected. You haven’t really answered me. You’re right that we’re both single, but we’re sleeping together, and I was under the impression that we were heading somewhere more serious. It didn’t help that my brother and Charlotte both insinuated that you’re playing me in some way. Are you playing me, Toby? Are you being straight with me? Come on, let’s put our cards on the table and stop dancing around this.”

“So now you’re listening to your brother about me? Never thought that would be something you’d do, Suzanne. You think I care what Marcus thinks of me? I’m very well aware he doesn’t like me and has no use for me. Just never expected that from you. Then there’s Charlotte. Everyone knows she always falls in line with how Marcus sees things.”

Just the way he said it had her sitting up straighter.

“Are you trying to imply something about Charlotte?” She lifted her hand before he could reply. “No, don’t, Toby, because that’s low, even for you. Don’t do that. Don’t try to taint Charlotte’s character to make yourself look good. She’s a good woman, and you don’t know her. Another thing is clear here, and maybe it’s taken me really long to figure it out, but I get it now. You don’t want to answer me. You have a way of deflecting that I never realized before. This thing here, Toby, what is it?” She gestured between them and didn’t miss how uncomfortable he was. “I really want an answer. I think I deserve that much.”

“Sounds to me like you’re holding a gun to my head, Suzanne. A commitment, is that what you’re looking for? Because we’re not there. I like you, and you like me…” He just shook his head.

She wasn’t a fool. She felt that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, sensing the brush-off that was coming, just as his cell phone started ringing. A second later, so did hers.

Of course, he didn’t hesitate to answer. “Fire at the box store,” he said. “We’re being called in.”

She reached for her phone, seeing the same message, and stood up, taking in the dinner they hadn’t eaten. Toby was already walking to the door. She grabbed her purse before hurrying to his bedroom and grabbing her shirt, then to the front door, where he was waiting to lock up.

She was already halfway to her car when he called out, “Suzanne…” and she stopped, pulling the door open as he walked toward her.

“Look, I didn’t mean to come down on you so hard or to sound like such a jerk,” he said, “but at the same time, this here, between us, I don’t know what to call it. I care about you. I really do…”

The way he was looking at her, the way he stepped toward her, the chemistry rocked, and she could feel the pull again, feel herself being reeled back into whatever this was.

“I sense a big ‘but’ coming.”

He glanced away, hurried, brushing her off. He shook his head. “I like things the way they are. You just need to calm down a bit, not be so rushed. Besides, don’t forget the little fact that I’m a lieutenant and you’re not, and if others in the department get word of what’s going on between us, things could become difficult, namely for me.”

“Oh, I see. This is about your image, about protocol?”

He just shook his head and took a step back. “No, it’s that everything isn’t always that simple, Suzanne. Look, this isn’t the time. We have a fire to get to, and I really want to talk to you about this when we’re calmer, more reasonable, and have time.”

He started over to his pickup, his new one, and she knew that was his way of shutting this down. There was just so much about Toby that she wasn’t able to grasp. He had a way of not answering, of evading, of deflecting, and for the first time since this thing between them had started, she wondered if this was something he’d always done or if she was finally seeing this relationship for what it really was.

Would they ever settle into anything? Because right now, she didn’t want to admit it, but there might be something to what her brother was saying. This could be going exactly nowhere.

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GET YOUR AUDIO ON

THE QUIET DAY will be released this week, but you can read Chapter 2 now!

​

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Chapter 2

Suzanne’s cell phone rang from where it was stashed on the passenger seat with her purse as she worked the clutch in her seventies classic MGB, which would likely always be a work in progress. In fact, she’d just replaced the clutch, a part that wasn’t exactly stocked at the local auto shop, given her car’s age. The canvas top was up, and she was still smarting over how Charlotte and Marcus had come at her over Toby as if she were a teenager who didn’t know any better. What business was it of theirs, anyway? Why couldn’t they see that Toby was a great guy?

And why hadn’t she bothered to respond to his text? It had made her feel like she was an afterthought, but that was ridiculous, because she was…what?

She was going to surprise him, she told herself. Maybe that was the reason for the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Doubts were something she’d never allowed to get stuck in her head, but her brother and his live-in girlfriend had just alluded to the possibility that Toby wasn’t as into her as she was into him, and that was so off base!

She dragged the stick and heard the grind as she changed gears too fast. Her cell phone started ringing again, and when she glanced over to the lit-up screen and saw it was Toby, she considered for only a second before pressing the green icon and holding the phone to her ear.

“I’m on my way,” she started, balancing the phone between her shoulder and ear so she could shift gears again.

“Was wondering, since I didn’t hear from you. Was about to give up and head out.”

Seriously? She actually pulled the phone away and stared at it for a second as she pulled up and stopped at a set of lights that had turned red. She put the phone back to her ear, her hand ready to shift gears again.

“You’re going out?” she said. There it was, that feeling she hadn’t been able to shake. “What’s going on, Toby? I thought you and I were supposed to go for drinks, but then you didn’t respond to any of my texts. Now, after how long, I suddenly get one from you telling me to come on over? Thought it was time for the two of us to date in public. We are dating, right…?”

She heard the sigh on the other end and could sense some brush-off coming.

“You’re reading too much into things,” he said. “Sorry I didn’t respond, but I was held up, unavoidable. Comes with the title, you know. But you know what else, Suzanne? This is starting to feel like you’re giving me the third degree when all I want to do is stay in tonight. Didn’t realize we had plans set in stone. You didn’t respond to my text, so what am I to think? Come on, don’t push so hard…” There he went, sounding pissed when she was the one who should’ve been.

“Not so much set in stone,” she said, “but we were going out.”

She wasn’t sure what sound he made on the other end, considering the purr of the engine wasn’t exactly quiet. The light turned green, and she gave it gas and had to juggle the phone between her shoulder and ear again.

“Look, how about I cook dinner?” Toby said. “I’m hungry. Maybe you haven’t eaten? I’ll whip up a batch of linguini for us. What do you say?”

Dinner, just her and Toby…and, of course, what would follow but sex? Hot sex. Then she’d go home, because they were still at that stage of not staying over.

There they were again, those doubts from her brother and Charlotte. Damn them, already!

“Well, I suppose dinner would be nice,” she said.

“That’s great,” he said. “Hey, listen, since you’re on your way, would you mind stopping at the store and picking up a package of linguini noodles? And garlic, too, since I’m out. Oh, and looks like I’m out of tomatoes for a sauce, too. Why don’t you grab one of those premade jars of linguini sauce, as well, and I can whip up a salad to go with?”

She was sure he was rummaging through a cupboard or fridge, and she was stuck on the fact that she was now picking up groceries. “So instead of going out, you’re making me dinner…yet I’m picking dinner up. Really?” She didn’t even try to dial back the sarcasm in her tone.

“Well, I just thought since you’re already out…”

“Fine, never mind,” she said. “I’m just giving you a hard time. I’ll stop and pick up dinner so you can make it for me and hide me away at your place, alone, and not be seen in public.”

“I’ll make it up to you—and I have some news to share, too. You’ll be happy for me…” he drawled in that sexy voice of his, the one that could get her to do anything. At least he had eased her confusion from seconds ago. Damn Marcus, anyway, for getting in her head. She was better than that.

“Fine, I’ll stop at the box store and should be there in about fifteen,” she said. “Can’t wait to see you.”

She could see the store just up ahead as she geared down, then realized as soon as she hung up, just as a smile touched her lips, that he’d initially said he was about to go out, then that he wanted to stay in—and he’d never corrected her about not wanting to be seen as an item in public.

So he had news, what news? What was it with Toby? At times he seemed so elusive, all over the place and all about himself.

There it was again, that seed of doubt from her brother that just wouldn’t get out of her head.

She pulled into the parking lot and into a spot beside a black pickup, then stepped out of her car and gave the heavy door a shove closed with a squeak. She slid her key into the lock and headed in.

***

Way too many choices. She found herself grabbing two jars of marinara sauce, pasta, and what else did he need? Garlic, right. But there was already some in the sauce, so…

“Suzanne, almost didn’t recognize you.”

It was his voice, so deep that it pulled her abruptly from her distraction. She found herself looking over to Harold Waters, in a deputy uniform much like her brother’s, but from the next county over. His blond hair was short and tidy, not something she remembered, but he still had that perpetually pissed-off expression that reminded her how much of an absolute asshole he was. He dragged his gaze over her, and she had to fight the urge to slap him.

“Like what you see?” She inclined her head, holding the basket of groceries and resting her hand on her hip, still in her blue uniform, having not changed since work. His basket was filled with steak, chips, nachos, and milk. She dragged her own gaze up and over him in the same manner. It was then she thought she spotted an edge, something in the pull of his lips, not a smile.

All he did was grunt, taking his time before answering. “You look good,” he said. “Guess I don’t have to ask what you’ve been up to. Thought I heard you joined the fire department.”

She wasn’t sure what to make of the way he’d said it. There was just something about Harold that she’d never been able to figure out. He had a way of giving her everything when he was talking to her.

“Excuse me,” a woman said, and Harold gestured to Suzanne, moving her out of the way as if they were together, barely glancing over. She didn’t miss how buff he had gotten. He was under six feet, but his arms… He looked like he had taken up bench pressing as a new pastime, not that she had any idea what his pastimes were.

“Yup, going on five years now,” Suzanne said. “So are you lost or something, or just slumming in Livingston?”

He didn’t smile. There it was, that heavy gaze, those hazel eyes. He had a square face, a hard, chiseled look, and scars on his face from acne as a kid. To some, it was distracting. But there had always been something about Harold. He didn’t fit the image of a typical pretty boy, didn’t have the natural charisma, wasn’t the total hot package that Toby was, but something about his personality and the way he moved gave him a level of attractiveness that kind of snuck up on her.

“Stopped in to visit my sister and her husband, who live here, after meeting with your brother today. Not slumming, just shopping on my way home,” he said as if setting her straight, another reminder of the way he was.

She wasn’t quite sure what to say to a man she had gone out of her way to avoid seeing for years even though she had known exactly where he was and what he was doing. She was rattled to hear that he had met with Marcus. Why hadn’t her brother said anything? Then again, why would he?

“I see you’re still with the Gallatin County sheriff’s office,” she said. “Still living in Bozeman?”

He said nothing but kept looking at her in that way of his, giving her everything, definitely not the self-centered, surface-level crap she’d become used to. She had to remind herself this was just a ruse. He was a player, too, and she’d never been able to wrap her head around how he’d yanked the rug right out from under her.

“I’m back in Gallatin, but maybe not for long.”

“Back? Did you go somewhere?”

He hadn’t looked away. It was unnerving, not something she was used to, considering Toby was always looking away. “Yeah, took a job down in Oklahoma City, with hate crimes. I’ve been back only a month.”

So that was why she hadn’t run into him. “Wow, I had no idea you were gone. So you’re thinking of leaving again?” she said. What was it about hearing him now? She couldn’t shake this unsettled feeling, considering how things had been left between them.

“Weighing options, is all,” he said. There it was again, something in those hazel eyes—sadness or something else? She didn’t know, considering she really didn’t know him as she’d once thought she did.

“Well, this has been fun,” she said, “but I’ve got a dinner date. I should be going. Great to see you.”

She went to step away, but he pressed his hand to her bare arm, glancing past her and then stepping in closer, really looking at her in a way that made her feel as if he were scrutinizing her, and she didn’t have a clue why. For a second, she thought he was going to say something, but he stepped back and shook his head as if deciding not to. She hated when guys did that. Why did she have this feeling that so much between them had been left unsaid? Too much misunderstanding, betrayal, and uncleared air.

“What?” she said. Even she could hear how sharply it had come out.

“Nothing. Just…you look great, Suzanne. Hope life is treating you well. Stay safe out there,” he said. Then he stepped around her and strode to the end of the aisle.

She took one last look at her basket, sure she had everything, and started to the cash register. She spotted him at the next till over, paying. The cashier laughed at something he said, and he took his plastic bag and turned to where Suzanne was paying for her own groceries. He just nodded at her as he walked on by. It was pure instinct to watch him. He was mysterious, sexy, and at one time, she’d thought he was the one.

“Is that everything?” the cashier said.

Suzanne had to pull her gaze away. “Yes, thank you,” she replied, then tapped her debit card, took the groceries, and walked out of the store, into darkness.

She found herself looking around for a man that she shouldn’t have been paying any attention. Because there was Toby, even if there was no commitment, no depth. What she did know was that tonight, she and Toby needed to have a talk or something to establish exactly which direction they were headed in.

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Can't wait till release day?  Book 4 in my romantic suspense series The O'Connells is coming soon, but you can grab a sneak peek of Chapter 1 today!

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Chapter 1

“You going to eat that entire tub of ice cream, or do the rest of us get to have some?” Marcus said as he strode into his kitchen, where Suzanne was sitting alone after rummaging through his freezer for the ice cream she’d brought over. She just stared at him as she jabbed a large tablespoon into the big tub of strawberry swirl again and lifted out a big hunk.

“Help yourself,” she said around the mouthful, feeling the brain freeze the minute she swallowed.

Marcus shook his head, taking the tub of ice cream from her and moving it near the sink, away from her. He reached for three bowls from the cupboard, and Suzanne leaned against the nicked-up blue and white counter. Marcus and Charlotte’s house was small, dated. The kitchen was closed off from the rest of the house, and the old wood floor squeaked in places, but it had a big yard and was close to their mom’s place, and Eva had her own bedroom.

Suzanne could hear the voices of her family coming from the small living room as she took another bite from the hunk of ice cream still on her spoon.

“So why are you hiding out in here?” Marcus said with only a glance over his shoulder. He was in a faded army green T-shirt and blue jeans, sock-footed, and his dark wavy hair appeared freshly cut. He also seemed very much at home, the family man with an instant family, a role she hadn’t expected for him. Six-year-old Eva came running into the kitchen in a red and white flowered T-shirt and pajama pants and wrapped her arms around his leg, standing on his foot.

“Can I have ice cream, please…?” she said. She was so damn sweet and tiny.

Marcus smiled down at her and rustled her shoulder-length brown hair, also freshly cut. Suzanne recalled that her mom had booked a “granddaughters hair day” for Eva and Alison only the day before at Delilah’s Hair, a friend’s salon.

“Just dishing yours up now, sweet pea,” Marcus said as he lifted her and sat her on the counter. Suzanne loved the nickname he had given her. “Here, you can help,” he continued and gave Eva the scoop, his hand over hers.

Suzanne finished off the ice cream on her spoon, holding it up. Her cell phone was silent, its screen still black, and she double checked to see if the thing was powered on.

“You didn’t answer me, Suzanne. What’s going on?” Marcus asked as he helped Eva down and handed her a bowl. She walked with it back into the living room, all smiles.

“You sure are good with her,” Suzanne said, then gestured toward him with her spoon. “You given any thought to what will happen when her mom is released from prison?”

Marcus was still dishing ice cream into three other bowls, and he let out a sigh before shaking his head. “You’re changing the subject—and that’s a long ways off, not something I’m worrying about right now or putting on the table for discussion. So what’s up with you? Because you’re off tonight. How come, problems?” He gestured with the empty scoop to her and the cell phone she was holding, and she forced herself to put it down on the counter.

She shook her head. “No, everything’s fine,” she said, not sure what to make of his face and the way he was looking at her.

“Bullshit, Suzanne. You’re usually way better at hiding your off-ness, so what’s got you so glued to that phone? You’ve been texting someone, and all I can figure is whoever it is has you kind of distracted. You’ve barely said anything to anyone, just glanced at your phone every thirty seconds. This isn’t like you. Then you slipped off alone to the kitchen, eating away your stress, as Charlotte says.”

She hadn’t realized he’d been watching. She had to fight the urge to pick up her phone, to look again at the texts that had gone unanswered.

“The silent treatment?” Marcus let out a sarcastic laugh.

“It’s nothing, really,” Suzanne said. “And I wasn’t stress eating,” she added for effect.

He turned around, tossed the scoop in the sink, and wiped his hands on a dishtowel before gesturing to the ice cream lid, which was still beside her on the counter. “Whatever you say, Suzanne.”

She reached for it and crossed the kitchen to hand it to him, just shaking her head when he gestured as if asking whether she wanted more. He had a way of making her seem defensive when she was anything but.

“Just for the record, Suzanne, you can keep telling me it’s nothing, but I know it isn’t, or you wouldn’t be so distracted. You may as well just save us all the aggravation and tell me.” He was still leaning on the counter and didn’t look as if he were leaving anytime soon.

“Fine, you want to know? It’s just someone who hasn’t answered me, is all. We kind of had plans, and then…” She shrugged.

His expression darkened. “Please tell me we’re not talking about that asshole, Toby.”

There it was, exactly why she hadn’t wanted to say anything.

“Tell me how you really feel, Marcus.” She was still holding the empty spoon and thought of the tub of ice cream she’d been drowning her sorrows in moments earlier. Yup, she could definitely have used another scoop—but it wasn’t stress eating, because she didn’t do that.

“Well, I’ll take that as my answer,” he said in a tone that bothered her. “What the hell are you doing, Suzanne? You can do so much better. He’s got nothing going for him. He doesn’t have a sincere bone in his body, and that phony plastic smile he gives to everyone…shallow, no depth at all. If I really have to dig to find something redeeming about the guy, that should tell you something. I mean, why him? I don’t understand why you’d do that to yourself.”

She had to fight the urge to roll her shoulders as he went on. At the same time, she wasn’t too inclined to share anything about her reasoning. The chemistry she had with Toby didn’t happen with just any guy.

“You’re being overdramatic, Marcus. Toby is a good guy.”

Marcus just shook his head, and the look he tossed her said he didn’t agree. She knew there was no love lost there, though the dislike was one sided. Her brother had never made any excuses for how he felt about Toby, but Toby had never said the same about him.

“Really? How about the fact that he’s also your boss now, even though you trained him? Doesn’t that get to you even just a little bit, Suzanne? Because it should.” Marcus lifted the bowls of ice cream, already jabbed with spoons, and stepped over to her.

She had to remind herself that Marcus knew which of her emotional buttons to push. She pulled in a breath and forced herself to look away, then back to him. “That wasn’t on Toby. You should know that. Can I blame him for wanting the lieutenant job?” She shrugged, trying to put some lightness in her tone.

She didn’t want to admit that she still felt as if the rug had been yanked out from under her, considering she’d expected the promotion and had deserved it, yet when it happened, she realized she hadn’t even been considered. She pulled in another breath and took in the way Marcus was still watching her as if waiting for her reaction.

“Yeah, you can, Suzanne, and you should. He didn’t earn it, and he doesn’t appreciate you. You dating him?”

There it was, the million-dollar question of just how committed Toby was to her. What could she say?

“It’s not that serious, you know—and how is this any of your business, anyway?”

Marcus took another step toward her, but before he could reply, Charlotte stepped into the kitchen.

“Hey,” she said. “Was wondering what was taking you so long. Alison is asking for her ice cream, since Eva is already done. Did I walk in on something?” Her long dark hair was hanging loose. Suzanne swore she could make anything look stunning, including the faded jeans and old T-shirt of Marcus’s that she wore now. Some women just had that amazing, sexy, curvy appeal, but Suzanne never had.

She watched as Charlotte slid her hand around Marcus’s waist, and he handed one of the bowls to her. Suzanne hoped her envy didn’t show. He pressed a kiss to Charlotte’s lips—and, damn, their closeness was uncomfortable. She wished they wouldn’t do that right when they were having a conversation.

“No, nothing, just Suzanne mooning over Toby,” Marcus said. “Let me guess: You’ve texted or called, and he hasn’t called you back?” The way he was including Charlotte in this private conversation only added salt to her wound.

Here she was, lonely on a Saturday night when she’d wanted—no, expected to be out with Toby. They had plans, she assumed, but maybe not. She was now questioning what they had actually agreed on. Was she misreading things? She hated feeling like she was assuming something in whatever this was between them.

Charlotte seemed to hesitate as she gave everything to Suzanne, who now felt as if her personal life had taken center stage, out in the open for everyone to scrutinize. That was something she didn’t want.

“I texted. He must be busy,” she said. Even as it fell from her lips, she knew it sounded pathetic. It was unlike her to make excuses for anyone. Her brother only grunted, and Charlotte winced.

“He’s blowing you off,” Marcus said. “More than likely, he’s with someone else. You ever thought of that?”

Then her cell phone dinged, and she practically landed on it, seeing a text from Toby.

Sorry, babe. Got hung up. How about my place in an hour?

She held the phone in front of her, feeling excitement or something. When Marcus rested his hand over the phone, she thought he was going to take it from her. As she lifted her gaze to her brother’s, his expression was anything but friendly.

“Please do not be one of those girls,” he said. Then he stepped away, inclining his head and glancing toward Charlotte and the bowl of ice cream she was holding before walking out of the kitchen. She could hear him calling Alison.

Charlotte gave everything to Suzanne. “Don’t mind Marcus. He just loves you, is all, and doesn’t want to see some guy messing with you, considering how he feels about Toby.”

Of course, she didn’t want to hear that, especially from Charlotte. Maybe that was why she felt so on edge as she pulled in another breath, realizing she was still gripping her spoon.

“Thanks, but Marcus is just sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong, and he’s way off base with Toby. Anyway, as I said, it’s not serious. It’s just a thing.” She shrugged, feeling the bitterness in the way the words rolled off her tongue. She couldn’t put a label on this thing happening between her and Toby. Yeah, she really liked him, but it seemed the effort was entirely on her side.

Charlotte must have known, as she just offered a smile and lifted her hands in a gesture Suzanne hoped meant she’d leave it alone and not offer an opinion. “You know, I’m not too sure about Marcus being off base, Suzanne. One thing I know about your brother is how well he reads everyone, better than most—and Toby, he’s a player. Just watch yourself, because from where I’m sitting, I can see that Toby is possibly stringing you along. When he texts you and tells you to come running, you may want to ask him who he was with before you.”

Before Suzanne could set her straight, Charlotte rested her hand on her arm and walked out of the kitchen. Then her phone dinged.

Let me know if you’re coming, Toby wrote, and he added two flirty emojis that would’ve been cute if she hadn’t just had Charlotte and Marcus insinuate that Toby wasn’t being straight with her.

The problem was that they just didn’t know him.

As she dumped her spoon into the sink, still holding her phone, she saw the three dots that meant he was sending another text, but she was reminded of Charlotte’s words. Where had he been, and what had happened to their plan of grabbing a few beers, going out together? Now, he was two hours late.

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