Living on an island, you become part of a smaller community of folks who look out for one another. Having a special needs child, you want that kind of community around you, the kind of community where you know he or she can learn much-needed skills for independence without fear of getting in trouble. Smaller communities are more forgiving at times, and in smaller communities you aren’t as invisible as you are in huge overrun cities.

My son has autism but has grown into a very happy young man, having come so far in his independence, as a few of you are aware. For him, it’s ten times harder to gain the skills needed to function in life, which come natural for all of us, but he does it with a smile on his face, always happy—even this past Sunday evening, when he made his first solo trip home on BC Ferries after visiting his father.

Not only did he have to pull out the correct card to pay for the ferry, as well as his ID, but he also had to get himself to the right ferry, into the waiting area while on board, and then off the ferry and onto a bus, where he paid the fare to ride into Ganges, where I was waiting to pick him up. He did all of it beautifully. He was proud of himself for nailing every one of those steps, and for him, this was a huge achievement. However, while he was in the city, he had to buy a pair of steel-toed shoes for the new job he’s starting. He was so proud of this purchase, which was a big milestone, and he carried the box of new shoes onto the ferry and sat in the waiting area. Everything was great until he had to go to the bathroom, and he left the box of shoes on the bench where he’d been sitting. When he came back, they were gone.

Now, if you’ve been on a smaller ferry, you know the waiting rooms aren’t overly crowded. There are two on each side of the small vessel, and an island community like ours doesn’t have the crime bigger cities do. What makes the theft disturbing is that someone was watching him, and that person took the time to hide what he’d done, according to one of the ferry employees, who reached out to me to let me know that they’d found an empty shoe box in the men’s washroom. What bothered the employee was the fact that the thief had taken the time to place the box inside the garbage can but underneath the garbage bag to better hide it. Of course, the employee remembered my son, who had mentioned as the ferry was docking that he’d lost his “new shoes” that day. While my son’s vocabulary is limited, the employee understood that he was upset.

Yes, it’s a loss, but I’ll go buy him another pair. The troubling fact is that someone would target a special needs person. Now, I’m sure everyone has heard the saying “It takes a village.” It really does, and at the same time, everyone knows someone with autism or another developmental disability, whether it’s a child, a grandchild, or a friend’s child. Being in a village, if you see someone stealing or taking advantage of the vulnerable, call that person out. That doesn’t mean chasing someone down and getting yourself hurt but rather giving a warning, like “Seriously, dude? Don’t be a dirt bag.” Sometimes, that’s all that’s needed to change one person, to make him put the shoes back and have that moment of realization, to ask himself, What did I almost do?

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