Are you in a situation that you believe is so bad that you can’t see your way out of it, so bad that you think it’ll take a piece of you and leave you scarred for life?
What I’m talking about today is the capacity to recover from adversity. This is called extreme resilience. You’ve all heard people talk about it, but how many of you actually practice it? First, let’s talk about what resilience is. It goes something like this: You’re hit with a situation that could bring you to your knees, but you bounce back so quickly that everyone you know can’t see that you were brought down in the first place. Resilience is about getting hit over and over by a situation or problem, but what you do is immediately bounce back. This is totally possible. It’s just a matter of cultivating your determination to do so. As you go through life, you will experience setbacks in all areas. Most of us allow circumstances to take us down emotionally, and some people even spiral down into depression. Resilience will permit you to take any bad situation and rise up smiling—but is it that easy?
Here’s an example of a situation I faced, one that could have crushed my dreams if I allowed it to bring me down. I wrote a book, my first book, after my daughter was born. That was the busiest time of my life, with all my kids under five, a newborn, my eldest just having been diagnosed with autism, and my marriage being all but over, yet I wanted to get published. This dream was so strong that I could not ignore it. What was standing between me and my dreams of getting published was the publishing industry. I queried every literary agent, and while some offered genuine feedback and a few were even interested and dangled my hopes in front of me, they all ultimately said no.
Did I let that stop me? No! I didn’t crawl into a hole and cry and pity myself. I took the feedback and revised and changed my manuscript, and I also applied some relevant advice that a friend had given about a different situation. No one fixed things for me. I had to take a step back, re-evaluate the obstacles, and come at them from a different direction. I didn’t get mad or angry at the literary agents who wouldn’t consider me. They were just an obstacle. Instead, taking my friend’s advice, I looked at the entire terrain, the publishing industry, the ins and outs, and found a different direction. I started going directly to the publishers and revising accordingly, and it was nearly three years later that a publisher was interested and my first book was published. Was this the easy route? Good grief, no. It was so much work, tons, and so much research and studying and learning. I could go on and on, but I was determined.
If you think of it this way, my circumstance was much like building a road. Sometimes the terrain has mountains and forests and bogs, but instead of getting angry at them, you find a way around. If you think of it that way, all of this really has no impact on your emotions. When you are confronted with and subjected to irritating and toxic people, think of them like the forests and mountains and mud pits that you can’t go through. For me, those obstacles were literary agents and publishing professionals. Don’t get mad at them; just find a way to build your road despite your obstacles. Keep this in mind. You alone are building this road of yours, so figure out your steps, because that is completely within your control.
I did it, and so can you.
The next installment in The Friessens series will be released tomorrow, but you can pre-order your copy today!
Catch up with your favorite family, the Friessens, as four generations come together for what they anticipate to be a fun-filled weekend with babies and children, loads of love, and laughter. You can expect all the drama of young love, from the secrets to the hidden truths in a seemingly perfect marriage.
However, one fateful moment changes everything in this unforgettable story. When three lives are put in danger, the fallout could ultimately shatter the deep love and trust in this family, dividing them forever—and the cost could be something far greater than any of them could have imagined.
THE HOMECOMING (The Friessens, Book 23) is available for pre-sale at:
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