I don’t think anyone out there can’t say that sometimes, it seems as if the obstacles that land in your lap seem too big—and it’s often not just one. It seems we get hit from every direction and are faced with so much, suddenly given way more than our fair share, way more than anyone else out there. Maybe you feel you can’t handle anything, as if you’re a house with a broken foundation. But what do you do with a broken foundation? You build it up again, each part of it.

If you look in the mirror and don’t like who’s looking back at you, you need to fix that. Everyone should be able to look at their reflection and really like the person staring back. Be proud of the person you are. If you’re not, then it’s up to you to fix yourself. Remember, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you. The last thing any of us should do is care about what others think! Because their opinions don’t matter. Facing obstacles means liking yourself, liking the person staring back at you in the mirror. Forget about Jean, the nosy neighbor up the street, and stop worrying about what she thinks of you or whether she’s gossiping, badmouthing you, or spreading horrible rumors. It doesn’t matter.

Facing obstacles is also not about studying or reading everyone’s theories on how to fix yourself. It really comes down to just fixing it, already! We all have shit to deal with, so deal with it. Deal with every obstacle and problem that suddenly lands in your lap. Don’t ignore them and put them in a pile, telling yourself that maybe, someday down the road, you’ll fix them when you’re not so overwhelmed, when you have enough time, enough money, enough everything—because you will never have enough.

If you think about it, the purpose of obstacles is to test us. They can either bring out the best in you or have you reacting with fear because you let your head take off like a runaway freight train down that road of doom and gloom, where you make up all kinds of horror stories and worst-case scenarios, telling yourself they’ll all happen. Everyone worries about something and has done this, even me, but is this a good coping strategy?

Just this spring, my books were selling and I was happy, but—and this was a major “but”—I was suddenly faced with having to find a new place to live after ongoing water problems and a winter of virtually no water due to undisclosed broken plumbing. At the same time, I traded in my truck for a different vehicle only to discover the GM dealership I’ve always dealt with is under new ownership, and they lied about inspecting the vehicle and then refused to make all the badly needed repairs. I learned that they can get away with doing this and that everything I believed about consumer protection wasn’t true. Then I had to add in the fact that I was on a deadline to write the next book and pay the bills, and I had some pretty major promotions all spring that took up more than eighty percent of my time, with all the marketing that went with them. At the same time, I needed to stay sane for my three kids, one with special needs, as they too needed a piece of me.

Yes, that was my spring, but one of the things I’ve learned is that you can’t take on all of it, and not every scenario needs to immediately be labelled as a bad thing. Remember, and I’m saying it again, immediately labelling experiences is the one mistake everyone makes that leads to anxiety and overwhelming stress. It will have you not sleeping at night and will affect your health in ways you can’t even imagine. However, what if you work on only one problem, one issue, at a time? That’s it. Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed by everything you have to do, because that’s when nothing gets done. When you tackle issues in this way, you’re actually getting to the root cause of quitting. It’s not physical fatigue but mental fatigue that has people quitting and giving up. It’s that voice that says you’re not good enough when that’s anything but true. Seriously! 

I learned from David Goggins how important it is to hone your mind to that of a warrior. No one ever gets a free pass on obstacles. Mine will be far different than yours, and yours will be different than mine, but everyone has them. It’s important to realize that when you’re faced with one, don’t let your head, your mind, or your mouth, which may feel the need to tell everyone how big, bad, and horrible the situation is, take off. Instead, work on problems one at a time. Deal with the most important one, and fix it. Look at where you are right now, not tomorrow or next week.

You’re looking at the one situation you have to fix right now, the one that’s most prevalent and most dire. You’re not fixing the easy one first or taking all of them on at the same time or letting your head take off like that runaway freight train of impending disaster because these obstacles are too much for the average person to handle. Even when it seems as if every door is being slammed in your face, and you’re being kicked in the head, and nothing is working, and you swear at times it’s as if the universe is literally flipping you the bird and working against you, these are the times when you need to pull back, step back, and re-evaluate the situation. When you do that, I’m telling you it becomes easier. Each obstacle becomes a blip. Deal with it, fix it, and move on to the next one.

This is how David Goggins explained it, and I’ve got to tell you, it made complete and total sense to me. David trained as a Navy SEAL. When they’re away on a mission, facing an enemy and a life or death situation, they have to shut out everything else and face that one urgent situation or they will get killed. Maybe they’ve learned their wife is cheating on them back home, or one of their kids is flunking out of school or even stole a car, or their house is about to be repossessed, or a neighbor is suing them just to be a dickhead. These are all extremes, but it gives you an idea. A Navy SEAL can’t do anything in that moment about all the other urgent problems back on the home front. The only thing he can do is face the enemy and stay alive. He can’t allow his head to be distracted, so he blocks it out. Just like a SEAL, you need to focus on that one imminent life or death problem. That’s it. Stay present, stay focused, tackle that one issue, and then move on to the next.

So remember, tackle one thing at a time, and never, ever let your head take off like that runaway freight train, heading straight toward the worst-case scenario, because that worst-case scenario hasn’t happened. The only thing that has happened is the situation you’re going to fix, which is right in front of you.

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